


Bittersweet Reunion

by LabradoriteHeart



Category: Death Note
Genre: Afterstory, Age Difference, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Comfort/Angst, Confessions, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Post-Death Note, Psychological Trauma, Rare Pair, Rare Pairings, References to Canon, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 11:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12364293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LabradoriteHeart/pseuds/LabradoriteHeart
Summary: Detective Matsuda Touta had begun developing feelings for Chief Yagami’s daughter – Sayu Yagami.Now, 1 year after the arrest of the murderer known as Kira, the two have become very close. But will the truth about the Kira investigation be enough to tear everything they had to shreds?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T for minor scenes of violence and mild language.  
>   
> Just something to point out before you start reading; this story is set after the end of the Death Note anime/manga series, so in case you haven't finished yet, there will be references to the ending and therefore major spoilers.  
>   
> [Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note (though I do own a very nice collection of merch). All characters and groups mentioned belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. This story is created for entertainment purposes only.]

It had just turned 11pm. There was a quiet hum coming from the tv in the Yagami residence, but other than that, it was quiet. Sachiko looked up at the clock, then to her daughter, Sayu, who was asleep on the couch. It had been a long day for the Yagami family, as it had been exactly one year since the day that Light had been killed, and so the day had been filled with grieving and condolences from friends and other members of the family.

Sachiko gently stroked Sayu’s hair, causing the young woman to look up at her with blurry eyes as she awoke. “Mum…” Sayu muttered, as she edged herself up into a sitting position on the couch and gave out a quiet yawn.

“Let’s go to bed Sweetie… It’s not good for your back, falling asleep on the couch like that.” Her mum said in a soothing voice, and Sayu nodded, getting up slowly. Sayu had recovered well after the Mafia kidnapping incident, which at the time had left her in such high levels of stress that she had to take time out of college to recover from her poor state of mental health. The young girl, now twenty-one years old, was only just beginning to go out again; though not without the company of people she felt safe around, which was a handful of her closest friends, her mum and the remaining members of the task force that her father had worked with before his death.

Sayu walked up the stairs and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Just as Sachiko began to follow up the stairs behind her, she heard a knock at the front door.

 _‘Someone is at the door at this time of night? Seriously?’_ She thought to herself, but went back down the stairs and to the front door anyway, opening it. “Hello?” She asked the figure standing outside, before noticing the familiar face smiling apologetically at her. She immediately recognised the young detective who was standing in front of her.

“H-Hello Miss Yagami, I’m really sorry it’s so late, I only just managed to get away from the office and I wanted to see you and Sayu before the end of the day…” He rambled on, and Sachiko smiled.

“Matsuda, it’s great to see you,” She declared, welcoming him inside with a gentle wave of her hand “Sayu will be so happy to know you’ve came to visit. It’s been such a long time!”

“It has.” Matsuda smiled, then glanced at the picture of Light and Soichiro which was on the table with a candle that had been recently lit and a vase of flowers. He placed his own offering into the vase; a collection of white lilies. Sachiko gave a silent nod of gratitude, before going into the kitchen.

He felt a tightness in his chest as he looked at the two faces in the photographs. Soichiro; a brave man who had stopped at nothing to protect others, and had put his life on the line to catch Kira whilst putting the least amount of people in harm’s way. He truly was someone Matsuda admired and looked up to. Then his gaze shifted to Light’s picture. A perfect son and a perfect student. Someone who looked like the kind of person you’d be proud to say you knew. Only, that was how it looked from an outside perspective. All Matsuda could see was someone with little to no regard for human life, someone with a giant ego. A murderer. But Light’s remaining family members, his sister and his mother, were spared this truth. The remaining task force members all agreed that the best course of action would be to tell Sachiko and Sayu that Light had sacrificed himself in order to catch Kira once and for all, therefore sparing them the pain of knowing how their Light had really been the one pulling the strings all along, and instead, giving everyone’s last memories of him that of a hero. It was a bittersweet reality, how they were believing in a lie that only the remaining SPK members and the task force really knew the truth about.

“Sayu is upstairs” Sachiko announced as she returned to the room, carrying a cup of tea for Matsuda in one hand and one for herself in the other. She sat herself down on the couch and handed him his drink, which he took gratefully as he sat opposite her. “Feel free to go up and see her, I’m sure she will be overjoyed to see you again.” She said as she brought the drink to her lips. She knew that Matsuda cared deeply for her daughter, and she knew how much Sayu needed caring for in her current state. The girl was strong and didn’t always let it show; but Sachiko knew that her daughter was suffering, and that Matsuda was someone who could make Sayu feel at ease and remind her of a time before everything turned dark.

“Thank you…” He began, as he took a sip of the hot drink in his hands. The warm sensation helped to ease the feelings of guilt inside of him. “I’ll go up to see her now, then I’ll make my way home right away. I’m sorry again for the late visit-” He began, before Sachiko cut him off.

“Nonsense Matsuda, feel free to spend the night. I can’t in good conscience let you walk home this late...” She drank the rest of her tea, then got up to wash the empty cup. “We have Light’s old room, which is currently just used as a spare bedroom. You are free to use it if you’d like to.”

Matsuda finished his own drink and got up, walking over to give the empty cup to Sachiko. “Are you sure you don’t mind that? I don’t mind walking home, and I’d hate to intrude…” He scratched the back of his neck and Sachiko took the cup from him, washing it.

“Not at all, now, go talk to Sayu, before she falls asleep. It’s the first room to your left.” He nodded and she watched as he climbed the stairs. She began drying and putting away the remaining few dishes. She looked towards her husband’s photograph and gave a small smile, remembering the time Matsuda and Misa had visited them during the Kira investigation; it was the occasion when Matsuda had shown the true extent of his affection for their daughter for the first time. “He cares about her Dear… I know you disapproved of Sayu ever marrying a cop, but maybe he is right for her after all…” She said, sitting on the sofa in front of the photos.

Upstairs Matsuda had made it to Sayu’s room, but he hesitated before knocking. _What if she wasn’t awake? What would he say to her if she was?_ So many questions ran through his mind at supersonic speed, and he awkwardly forced himself to close his eyes, clear his mind, and knock.

“Come in” Came a quiet voice from inside. He had no choice now, he had to do it.

Matsuda nervously opened the door, and seen Sayu sat up in bed. A blush spread across his face when he seen her, and he coughed nervously, greeting her. “H-Hey Sayu…”

“M-Matsuda?!” Sayu exclaimed with equal parts excitement and surprise as she registered who it was. She felt her eyes threaten to tear up, and she got out of bed, hugging the man in front of her. He blushed an even brighter shade before hugging her back. “I-I thought you were my Mum when you knocked…” She said in embarrassment. “This is a surprise… A nice surprise.”

“S-Sorry, I know it’s a stupid time to be visiting…” He apologised, before letting go of her and sitting at the end of her bed. She smiled and sat beside him.

“Just a little, it’s almost midnight.” She giggled and he continued.

“Y-Yeah, about that… I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to visit sooner, I wanted to for a long time, but with all that was going on with the Kira case I couldn’t get away, and afterwards I was promoted and put onto a whole new case... It was difficult to find time where I could come over to visit…” There was a pause before he added, “I’m really glad I got to see you tonight.”

She smiled at him. “I’m glad I got to see you too… I haven’t seen you since, well, since before that incident with the Mafia…” She felt a horrible sense of dread come over her as she thought about it, but she tried to shake it off, putting the event to the back of her mind for now.

Matsuda felt terrible. The real reason he hadn’t visited wasn’t because of work. Yes, it was true that he was busy, but not to the extent where he couldn’t find time to come to visit her. The real reason he hadn’t visited her in the past year, was due to the overwhelming feeling of guilt that weighed him down whenever he had thought about doing so. He knew the truth. He had shot Light not long before he had died, and although it was to save everyone’s life, he still couldn’t bring himself to completely believe that Light was evil. Light was someone he had worked with and grew attached to.

“Maybe I could make it up to you...?” Matsuda offered, and Sayu gave him a puzzled look, so he continued. “Tomorrow, we could go for a catch up... Maybe go for a walk or get something to eat at a café or something…” The blush was back, and Matsuda was looking away nervously. He’d never asked a girl out before; this was the closest he’d ever gotten to it. He began to panic over the thought of rejection. ‘ _What if I’m rejected? Or what if she only says she’ll go because she’s too polite to say no, or even worse, because she feels sorry for me? This is bad, this is really really bad…’_

“I’d love to…” Sayu said quietly, an earnest smile appearing on her face, along with a small amount of blush appearing on her cheeks. She liked Matsuda a lot. If there was anyone she felt like she could be happy with, it was him.

“You would?” Matsuda asked in shock as he shook himself out of his inner panic. “Really?!”

She nodded. “But…”

Matsuda felt a wave of rejection flow over him. _‘but…’_ the word echoed in his mind. This was it, he was getting turned down.

Sayu sighed as she continued. “But you will have to forgive me… I haven’t really been out much over the past year, so I can’t recommend any good places to go to, plus, I don’t know if I’ll be much fun to be around…” She looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. “I’m sorry.” Sayu apologised, and Matsuda could tell it was beating her up inside. He delicately placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t apologise, for a minute there I thought you were going to say that you didn’t want to... I’m grateful that you want to go with me at all, and I’m happy to go anywhere as long as you’re happy.”

Sayu blushed and giggled again, feeling a lot better after his reassuring statement. “Well in that case, it’s a date Matsuda.” She said in calm voice. “I look forward to it.”

He grinned with excitement and jumped up off the bed happily. “Yes! A date!” He exclaimed excitedly before resorting to his regular, awkward demeanour and giving a nervous chuckle. “Well, then I’ll see you tomorrow Sayu… Goodnight.” He said as he began heading towards the door.

“Goodnight...” Sayu sighed happily, getting back into her bed, and he gave her a beaming smile before shutting the door behind him, heading off to Light’s old room.

 _‘A date with Sayu…’_ He thought to himself as he went inside the bedroom. He was feeling on top of the world. _‘I can’t believe I have a date with Sayu!’_ The feelings he had developed for her when he had seen her last had not faded in the slightest, despite how long it had been. He had thought about her often, and had imagined what could have been if only things hadn’t gone the way they had. But now that didn’t matter. Matsuda had finally asked her and she had said yes. His dreams were coming true.

He sighed happily and sat down on Light’s bed before the euphoric feeling began to fade and he realised where he was. This was Light Yagami’s bedroom. Kira’s lair. _‘So, this is where it all began…’_ Matsuda thought as he lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He continued to think about how light had caused so much chaos, from such a small room. So many of his friends had died from the events that had taken place here. Matsuda still couldn’t ever forgive light for what he’s done, and how he’d never once felt remorse for it. He lay there, memories and thoughts of the past flooding his mind until tiredness finally caught up with him, and he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Sayu awoke to the smell of coffee downstairs. There was light filtering through the crack in her window and she looked up to check the time on the clock above her desk. Half-past nine. She suddenly realised that her and Matsuda had never actually decided on a time for their date, or even on a place that they would meet, so she jumped out of bed, grabbing a hoodie that was draped over the back of a chair, and hastily making her way down the stairs.

“Oh Sayu! Would you like a cup of coffee? A piece of toast?” Her mother offered as she sat at the kitchen table, but Sayu shook her head, looking around the room.

“No thank you… Hey have you heard from Matsuda? We are supposed to be going out today but we didn’t decide on a time or place to meet…” She began, and Sachiko smiled.

“He mentioned something about that before he left this morning.” Sachiko informed her as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Wait, when he left? You mean he stayed the night?” Sayu interrupted. She had just assumed that Matsuda had walked home after he had left her room, though it made sense that he had stayed over that night, as the walk home would have been especially bad considering how cold it was at night in winter in Japan.

Sachiko smiled. “Yes, he stayed in Ligh-” She stopped herself. “The spare room. Anyway, he told me he wanted to go home first, so that he could neaten himself up for your date.” Sayu blushed brightly at that, and took a seat beside her mother. “Don’t worry, he said he’d be back soon.” She continued. “He left at 8, and he said he’d come back around 11, so if I were you I’d hurry up and get ready.” Sachiko said, smiling at her flustered daughter’s expression.

“I-I’ll go get ready now then…” Sayu said, and she made her way back upstairs. When she returned to her room, she felt the wave of excitement flow over her. She had never really been on dates. Her friends had encouraged her to go out to bars with them so that they could meet guys, but it just wasn’t her scene. Sayu wasn’t really someone who enjoyed drinking, and she much preferred guys who weren’t super cocky and full of themselves. _‘Someone like Matsuda…’_ She thought to herself before shaking herself out of her daydream. She didn’t have long to get ready, so she went over to her wardrobe and looked through her clothes. She looked at a pair of loose-fitting jeans and thought about wearing them with the hoodie she had grabbed on her way downstairs, but she shook her head. _‘Too laid back for a first date…’_ She thought to herself, as she kept looking. She then pulled out a dress. She considered it, but then put it back, not wanting to look overdressed and out of place. Finally, she settled on a floral skirt, a knitted jumper and a pair of tights.

She just about finished getting ready when she heard a knock at the front door. She nervously got up and began to gather her things when she heard her mum answer the door followed by Matsuda’s cheerful voice.

“Hello Mrs Yagami!” Matsuda greeted merrily, and Sachiko welcomed him inside again.

“Hello Matsuda, Sayu will be down in just a second, I’ll go let her know that you’re here-” she began, but before she could finish Sayu had appeared at the top of the stairs. Matsuda’s face reddened as he gawked at the young woman who was making her way downstairs, and she also blushed when she seen him, giggling at his reaction.

“Wow, Sayu… You look beautiful…” He stammered. He couldn’t believe how much she’d grown and matured since the first time he’d met her. He had first met her when she was around fourteen years old. She had come to the office to see her father at work. At that time Matsuda was new to the police force, and he worked beneath Yagami, aspiring to one day work at the same level he did. Matsuda had seen Sayu as an adorable young girl, but his feeling for her had changed a lot when he visited her again a year ago – when she had suddenly grown from that adorable child into a beautiful woman.

“Thank you, Matsuda, you look very handsome…” She replied happily. They both looked at each other, in a momentary world of their own, until Sachiko interjected.

“You both look wonderful! Let me get my camera!” Sachiko said delightedly, going to the drawer below the television. Sayu gave Matsuda an apologetic look and he chuckled. “My baby girl is all grown up, going on her first date!” She declared as she took a couple of photographs of the two of them. Sayu turned bright purple, not even her ears escaping the blush.

“M-Mum!” She protested, and both Matsuda and Sachiko laughed.

“Right, are you ready to go Sayu?” Matsuda asked, offering her an arm to link. Sayu giggled at how old fashioned he acted, but she found it endearing, and she slid her arm around his.

“Ready!” She replied, and the two left the house after saying goodbye to Sachiko.

Matsuda led the way, walking towards a local café not far from where the Yagami family lived. It was a nice place that never got too crowded, and Matsuda knew that it was a place Light frequented, and therefore he hoped Sayu felt comfortable there. He took her inside, and sat down with her in an area by the window. “Is this place okay...?” He asked and she nodded.

“It is, thank you…” She said as she picked up a menu with an assortment of milkshakes on it. “So, how has work been?” She asked him as she read the menu.

Matsuda sighed and shook his head. “It’s been hard, especially without the Chief…” He began. “Me, Aizawa, Ide, Mogi and the new guy, Yamamoto, we’ve all started a new case, which means a tonne of sleepless nights are ahead of us…” He groaned at the thought of having to take naps in between shifts in the task force headquarters again. Sayu nodded, giving him an encouraging smile.

“That does sound tough… But if you can solve the Kira case, there’s nothing you can’t do.” She said supportively.

“Thank you, I hope you’re right… Though most of it wasn’t me. After all, we couldn’t have done it without Ne- urm, L.” Matsuda still couldn’t get used to calling Near L, it felt strange. “Anyway, what about you?” Matsuda knew that Sayu had taken time out of college after the incident, but he wasn’t sure if she planned on returning or not afterwards. “How have you been?”

Sayu looked down. “I’ve been okay thanks... I’ve enrolled back in college, and I’ll be starting up again soon.”

Matsuda nodded. “That’s really good to hear… I’m glad that you feel able to go back after what happened, you’re really strong willed…” He offered, and she smiled up at him.

“You think so...? Thank you.” She replied.

“Of course I do, you’re amazing Sayu...” Matsuda said as he reached for a menu as well. “What would you like?” he offered, getting up to get them both a drink.

“Could I have a strawberry milkshake please?” She asked, and offered Matsuda the money to pay for it. But he smiled and closed her hand around it.

“I want to treat you, it’s all on me.” He stated and she smiled.

“Thank you…”

Sayu watched as Matsuda went up to order. She was so happy that he had asked her out. Despite the fact she had only seen him a couple of times before he came to visit her last night, he was someone she had formed a close bond to. She couldn’t explain it, but he made her feel safe and happy, and he was unlike all the other guys she had met. Even her own brother was someone who never treated his girlfriends with much respect, and she knew that. She had seen how he was with Misa and Takada. Matsuda was a guy who complimented her sincerely and took her feelings into consideration. The perfect gentleman. Sure, he was in some ways childish, but it was something she found charming about him.

Matsuda returned, carrying the two milkshakes; a chocolate one for himself and a strawberry one for her. He sat opposite her and passed her the drink. She took a sip then smiled. She felt better when she was with him. The memories were less painful, and she had someone she knew she could share the burden with, because he would listen and not judge her for it. “Hey, can we go for a walk?” She asked. She decided she would talk to him about it.

Matsuda picked up his milkshake and nodded. “Sure, is everything okay?” He asked, and Sayu nodded.

“Yeah, I just feel like it would be nice to go for a walk through the park or something…” She picked up her own milkshake and the two of them headed out towards the local park. It was an expanse of green land, with a few benches and patches of flora. Sayu walked beside Matsuda, and she linked arms with him once more. “Hey Matsuda…?” She asked, and he looked down at her.

“Yeah?” He tried to read her expression, but he couldn’t quite tell what was on her mind.

“Kira will never be free to kill like that again right? People are safe? You’re Safe…?” She asked. The final part just slipped out, and Matsuda detected the fear in her voice.

“Sayu…” He whispered, before hugging her close. She was scared. How could she not be? She had lost half of her family to Kira, and she had been held hostage because of the death note. “Kira has been stopped… He died in prison.” Matsuda stated. He wasn’t lying; Teru Mikami had died in prison. But he couldn’t tell her about Light, the real Kira, and it was eating him up inside. He couldn’t lie to her and tell her that Kira would never kill again, or that he himself was safe for definite, because there was a very real chance now of another Kira appearing. As long as there was still the existence of the death note, there was a possibility of a human using its power for evil.

“Thank goodness…” Sayu sighed. It seemed to have put her mind at ease for now, but Matsuda could not bring himself to continue deceiving her. He wanted to tell her the truth.

The two sat down on a bench, and Matsuda drank some of his Milkshake as Sayu looked up at the sky, then she gave out an involuntary yawn. Matsuda noticed and smiled. “Am I that boring?” He joked and she chucked.

“No, no, not at all…” She laughed, then her smile slowly faded. “It’s just, I haven’t been sleeping well recently.” Recently was an understatement. Sayu had been having nightmares for a long time now, dating back to the beginning of when her mental state deteriorated. She had improved in a lot of areas since then, but her sleep pattern was still impaired.

Matsuda realised from her body language that it wasn’t just a small thing and he bit his lip. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t realise…”

Sayu shook her head. “It’s okay, it’s just, that’s why I asked about Kira. It’s always the same kind of nightmare. I can see him, but I can’t recognise his face. He’s sort of, twisted and distorted I guess. Which makes sense. I can’t ever imagine someone like that as human. Then I see people dropping one by one. My dad, his eyes rolling back in his head and falling to the ground. Light, vomiting blood and collapsing beside him. The task force too…” She felt a lump in her throat, but she continued. “Then after everyone else has been killed by Kira, I’m next. He slowly begins walking towards me and I can’t move. I’m paralysed.”

She suddenly felt Matsuda’s arms around her, and her face was wet. She hadn’t even noticed that she had started crying.

He didn’t know what to say, so he gently held onto her as they sat in silence. But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. Sayu just appreciated his company and his warmth. He didn’t have to say a word; his presence alone was the most reassuring thing in the world to her.


	3. Chapter 3

At the end of their date it was around 6pm, and Sachiko was preparing dinner. Matsuda had taken Sayu home, and he was about to leave before Sachiko stopped him.

“Feel free to stay for dinner if you’d like to, we have more than enough.” She offered as she began serving up the food. Sayu, who was getting the drinks and cutlery, smiled hopefully at him, not wanting their time together to end.

“Sure! I’d love to!” Matsuda said, and went over to help Sayu set the table.

The three of them sat down to their meal, and Sachiko was the first to speak. “So, did you two have a good time?” She asked as she began eating. Sayu looked at Matsuda and he looked back at her, then as if on purpose the two replied in perfect sync.

“ _It was good_!” They echoed together, before both giving a nervous chuckle. Sachiko giggled at the two of them and how adorably awkward they were around each other. It was refreshing for her, having happy energy once again flowing through the house.

“Matsuda treated me to a milkshake, then we went for a walk through the park.” Sayu continued, a smile on her face as she talked about their day.

Sachiko listened as she ate. “I’m really glad you both had a good time!” She said, then added on, just to create more embarrassment for the two of them; “It’s been a while since I’ve seen two little lovebirds like this. It reminds me of when me and your father first met.” This left Matsuda and Sayu equally as flustered and pink faced as one another, as they both continued eating.

Once they had finished their food, Sayu offered to do the dishes, and Sachiko nodded. “Thank you Sayu, that’d be a great help.”

“It’s no hassle, really,” Sayu said, before adding on; “But, do you think it’d be okay if Matsuda stayed over one more night…? I was thinking we could watch a movie or something together, and I don’t want him to have to walk home in the dark…”

Sachiko pretended to be apprehensive about it, but in truth she had no issue with it. “I don’t know… Doesn’t Matsuda have work first thing in the morning?” She asked, and it was Matsuda’s turn to answer.

“Th-that’s okay, I can just leave in the morning and go straight to work from here.” Matsuda offered. Sachiko seemed happy with that, and nodded.

“Well then, it’s alright by me. But no funny business.” Sachiko stated firmly, causing Matsuda to blush yet again.

“ _Mum_!” Sayu whined. “Nothing like that would happen!” She insisted, folding her arms across her chest and rolling her eyes in protest.

Matsuda nodded in agreement with Sayu’s statement. “Y-Yeah exactly, besides, I promise Mrs Yagami, I would never do anything like that to Sayu before Marriage…”

Sachiko raised her eyebrows at Matsuda’s statement, and Sayu’s face turned red as she nudged him with her elbow, prompting him to shut up.

Sachiko chose to ignore what he had said and continued. “Well anyway, I’ll leave you two alone. Enjoy your movie.” She declared, before making her way upstairs and into her room so that she could give the two of them some alone time.

Sayu sighed, and reached over to grab a collection of DVDs. She had quite a varying collection. There was some from each genre; she had romance movies, many of which starring her childhood celebrity crush Hideki Ryuga in them, a few action movies, a couple of comedies and the occasional sci-fi.

“What would you like to watch Matsuda?” Sayu offered. Matsuda truthfully wouldn’t have minded a romance, as he was a sucker for a cheesy love drama or rom-com, but in order to make himself appear less soft, he chose one of the sci-fi superhero movies and handed it to Sayu. She smiled. “I didn’t know you liked Marvel.” She announced as she put the _Guardians of the Galaxy_ DVD into the disk drive.

“Oh, yeah! I’m a big fan of Marvel, he’s awesome!” Matsuda stated confidently, and Sayu burst out laughing. He gave her a confused look.

“Matsuda… Marvel is the company that makes the movies.” She informed him.

He gave a bashful smile. “O-Oh, of course… I knew that…”

Sayu giggled and sat back down beside him. “Of course you did, I believe you.” She teased playfully.

“Hey, I did, I was just messing with you!” He defended, turning redder.

Sayu laughed again and pressed the play button on the remote, starting the movie.

The two of them watched the screen as the movie started, and they because more absorbed into it the more it progressed. They were captivated by the action sequences in front of them whilst also simply enjoying each other’s company. Sayu gradually sunk into Matsuda’s side as the movie went on, and he brought up the courage to put his arm around her. She settled in happily and they didn’t notice the time go by until the end credit scene appeared, and Sayu let out another yawn.

“I take it you’re ready to go to bed now?” Matsuda asked her, and Sayu nodded.

“Yeah… Today has been amazing, but it’s really tired me out big time.” She confessed and stretched her arms. He nodded once in agreement.

“You’re not wrong, I’m pretty tired too.” He agreed as he got up, and Sayu turned off the television. Sayu remembered that she had promised to do the dishes for her mum, and went over to the sink. Matsuda followed close behind. “Would you like some help?” He offered, and she smiled at him.

“Yes please, how about if I wash and you dry?” She suggested and he nodded, grabbing the kitchen towel and taking up position next to her, beside the sink.

They finished putting away the dishes and then headed upstairs. They began parting ways towards their separate sleeping areas before Sayu turned to Matsuda.

“Thank you, for everything.” There was a look on Sayu’s face, one that was difficult to decipher because it was made up of a combination of so many different emotions.

Matsuda looked at her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to his chest. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I’ve enjoyed being with you and if I could do it every day, I would. You are amazing Sayu, you really are.”

Sayu held onto him. “I’m not the amazing one here… You are. You’re different from everyone else.” She admitted, then moved away, but held onto his arm so that the two were still maintaining physical contact. “Good night Matsuda…” She said, and just before she turned to leave, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

Matsuda almost collapsed then and there on the spot. He couldn’t believe that just happened. “G-Good night Sayu!” He replied giddily, and she smiled before disappearing into her room. Matsuda sighed happily, placing his hand on his cheek. Sayu had kissed him.

He made his way to light’s old room and loosened his shirt, getting into the bed. He lay there for a little while but he couldn’t sleep; his mind was racing. He had been on his first date with Sayu today. It felt surreal. She had kissed his cheek before they had parted just a few minutes ago. It was like a dream come true for him. He never thought Sayu would feel the same way he felt about her, and he never thought she would accept his offer of a date, especially after their last meeting more than a year ago, when he had asked her out but was turned down because Sayu thought he was too old for her. She wasn’t wrong, Matsuda had worried about their age difference too. With him being thirty-two, there was an eleven-year age gap between the two of them – something he had been scared to just dismiss as the whole _‘age is but a number’_ thing. But he couldn’t deny he felt a romantic love for her that he had never felt before towards anyone else before.

Just as he began to drift off he heard a muffled whimper. It was so quiet and brief that he probably wouldn’t have even heard it if he hadn’t been as aware as he was at that moment, but he had heard it, and his immediate thought was of Sayu. _‘The nightmares…’_ He thought to himself. It was the most logical explanation.

He got up out of the bed and made his way out of the room, trying to be as quiet as he could. Once he’d made his way to Sayu’s room he gently edged open her door and looked inside. He was right.

Sayu was clutching at her pillow, breathing heavily with a scared expression on her face. Even in the dim light he could tell that she was suffering from the nightmares that were inside of her head. He walked over and gently crouched beside her bed, placing a hand on her shoulder. He knew not to wake someone when they were having a nightmare, but he quietly called her name to see if he could get some form of reaction out of her.

“Sayu…? I’m here… It’s all going to be alright. I will never let anyone harm you.” He whispered to her in a soothing voice. Her heavy breathing slowed a little, but she was still nowhere near calm. Her grasp on the pillow hadn’t loosened much, and she was tense. Matsuda hesitated, panicking over what to do. He wanted to calm her down in any way he could, but he just couldn’t think of what to do. He felt so helpless.

While he was mulling over options in his head, he eventually thought of something, but he was unsure whether it would be crossing a line or not. But at that point in time he didn’t care. He wanted Sayu to feel safe, and it was the only thing he could think of that would do just that.

Matsuda climbed into her bed beside her, and gently wrapped his arm around her. She was laying on her side, so he positioned himself behind her, holding onto her caringly with his head nuzzled into the back of her neck. Sayu's panic began to lessen slightly, and she slowly relaxed into his arms. She hadn’t completely woken up, but she was in that state of half-sleep, where she felt like she was floating. She muttered his name and he gave her a gentle, reassuring squeeze to let her know he was right there.

She was still scared and on edge, but his presence made her feel like she wasn’t alone anymore. The thoughts were still painful and the memories raw, but she was eventually able to fall asleep in his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Sayu woke up and reached over to where she had felt Matsuda’s presence the night before. She’d had her first decent sleep in ages, and was feeling a lot more refreshed now. But as she reached over, expecting to feel the warmth of his body beside her, all she felt was empty bedsheets. Matsuda had stayed true to his word. He had left early that morning so that he could go to work, and he had done so without waking Sayu or her mother on his way out.

As Matsuda made his way into the building, he ran into Hideki Ide in the downstairs lobby. He had also just arrived by the look of it, as he was sorting through his documents in his folder to ensure he had the right files in the right place. “Ide!” Matsuda greeted in his usual chipper tone, and Ide looked up at him, then raised an eyebrow without saying anything. “ _What?_ ” Matsuda asked defensively, and Ide gave an amused chuff.

“What’s with the getup?” He asked, referring to the fact Matsuda was still wearing the clothes that he had worn on his date with Sayu.

“I-I didn’t have time to go home and get changed…” Matsuda admitted, before realising that was the worst possible thing he could have said. There was no way he would be able to get out of this one.

“ _Wait,_ ‘go home’?” Ide echoed, giving Matsuda a look of disbelief. Great, the fact he was so shocked about it spoke volumes. This was coming from Ide, the guy who was known for having the worst romantic luck ever. I guess it was time for him to come clean.

“Well, I-” Matsuda began, but he heard the door open behind him, and Aizawa walked in, swiftly followed by Mogi. ‘ _Great.’_ Matsuda thought to himself. ‘ _an audience._ ’.

Ide waved at Aizawa, and the two guys walked over to where Matsuda was stood. Aizawa also gave a questioning look to Matsuda’s dress choice, and Ide laughed. “Yeah I had the same reaction. Guess who stayed over at a girl’s house yesterday?”

Mogi answered before Aizawa could. “Well, it couldn’t have been you, and it wasn’t me or Aizawa. So, by process of elimination, it must be Matsuda.”

“I know! How unbelievable is tha- _Hey_!” Ide scowled, realising Mogi’s dig, but Mogi was too busy trying to read Matsuda.

“So, who was it?” Mogi asked. All 3 of them stared intently at Matsuda, who was becoming more and more uncomfortable.

“N-Nothing happened!” Matsuda protested.

“That’s not what I asked.” Mogi stated.

Matsuda was trying to find a way out of this, when the phone at the desk rang. He gave a sigh of relief. Aizawa leaned past and picked up the phone off the desk. “Shuichi Aizawa speaking.” He began before there was a moment of silence. “Uh huh.” He muttered. Another pause. “That’s fine, I’ll send you the files over as soon as I can. Get better soon.” And with that he hung up the phone. He turned towards the others. “Yamamoto won’t be coming in today, he’s off sick. Anyway, let’s go to the office. There’s news from L we need to discuss.”

Matsuda was grateful for the change of subject, and he made his way up the stairs to the headquarters. As if right on cue, the screen lit up on the monitor in the front of the room, signalling an incoming call from L. Mogi pressed the speaker and Near’s disguised voice came through. “Hello everyone. I have updated information on the whereabouts and backgrounds of the crime syndicate members involved in the drug heist.” He began, and continued to give details to the group regarding the current investigation. They listened intently, asking questions when necessary but also putting their complete faith in Near. He really was L’s true successor. Now that he was given the chance to officially take the role as L, he had really shown what he could do. But the focus now was on intercepting the drug heist that was planned for tomorrow, in the same warehouse that Light had revealed he was Kira in. It was going to bring back a lot of painful memories to all of them, that was for sure.

They agreed on a time to meet at the office the following day. The heist was apparently going to be held at 1pm, so Near suggested that they arrive at the office for 12:45 so that they could get to the warehouse for 1:15 with back up. Once they had the plan all sorted out, Near ended the call, leaving the detectives to discuss things between themselves. Matsuda was no longer protected from the barrage of questions. He sighed.

“So?” Aizawa asked him, and the other two leaned in to listen.

“It’s Sayu…” Matsuda grumbled. Mogi almost fell off his chair. Ide chuckled and Aizawa stared blankly at him.

“Sayu. As in Chief Yagami’s daughter Sayu?” Aizawa asked. Matsuda nodded.

“Wow, got to say, after she rejected you last time, that’s impressive.” Mogi added and Matsuda looked at him.

“How do you know about that?” He questioned and Mogi smirked.

“Easy, I had to watch over Misa for a while towards the end of the investigation, didn’t I? She told me _everything_.” Mogi said confidently.

Matsuda just sighed. “Well, yeah. Now you guys know.”

Ide was the one to ask the question that no one else had thought to ask yet. “What about the situation with Light being Kira? If you’re in a relationship with Sayu, you’ll have to lie to her about her own brother. Can you really do that…?” There was a silence in the room. Ide had a very good point, and it was something Matsuda had been thinking about constantly. The guilt was driving him insane.

“Yeah, I know what you mean... I’ve also been thinking about that. And I can’t lie to her, not anymore. Sayu deserves to know the truth about her own family’s death… I hate deceiving her. I want to tell her once and for all about what happened…” Matsuda confessed, before a fist slammed down onto the table, causing him to jump in shock.

“Are you stupid Matsuda?!” Aizawa yelled. “We all agreed to this when it happened. We decided not to release the truth to the public, and that includes the Yagami family. I was the one who had to tell the family the news, and you expect to just go there and tell them Light was Kira? What do you hope to accomplish exactly?!”

Matsuda felt his face heat up as he stood up to Aizawa. “Well I can’t look her in the eyes unless she knows the truth too! Do you know how hard it is lying to the girl that you love?! Telling her one thing whilst knowing something completely different?!” Matsuda yelled back.

Aizawa was about to fire back another argument but before he could, Mogi stepped in. “Enough you two. You shouldn’t be fighting like this.” He kept his voice low and calm, but stood in between the two of them so they couldn’t argue any longer. Ide didn’t know what to do, and was stood out of the way. “Matsuda, I understand where you’re coming from. If I was in your place of course I’d hate to be lying to my partner over something so serious. I know, it must be hard. But Aizawa has a point. We tell her and Mrs Yagami, and we will have to inform Near that we have told them. We will have to consider going public about it which could cause major issues.” He looked at the two of them. Neither had any response, so he continued. “And another thing, don’t you think Sayu has suffered enough already? Don’t you think telling her about Light would just add more to her already huge burden? Think about it…”

Matsuda sighed and left the room. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Mogi was right, he knew that. But, could he really just keep on lying to Sayu every single day? He knew he couldn’t, besides, there was a chance that he’d slip up one day and reveal the truth by accident. That would be even worse. While Matsuda was mulling over what to do, Ide came out to see if he was alright.

Ide sat down on a bench next to him, and the two sat there in silence. It lasted a while, until Matsuda finally decided to break it. “I don’t know what to do…” He sighed, looking down at the floor. “I feel like whatever choice I make, I’m bound to lose either way…”

Ide listened to him and nodded. “I guess there is no real right or wrong answer. I mean, from an objective and logical standpoint sure, Aizawa’s argument has more weight to it, but…” Matsuda looked up at him, close to tears. He continued. “But, you love her, so in your situation the best thing for you two would be for you to tell her the truth. I can’t say what you should do but, you’ll do the right thing.” Ide sighed and got up. “You want to go for a drink?” He offered, but Matsuda shook his head.

“Nah, Thanks but I’m not really feeling up for it…” He said, and got up as well.  “I’m probably just going to head home, so I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

Ide nodded, turning in the opposite direction from Matsuda. “No problem, see you tomorrow.” They parted ways, and Matsuda began his journey home.

He didn’t mind the walk. He sometimes preferred to walk to and from work than to drive, as he found that it was a good time for him to think and to clear his head. As he walked, he thought about what Aizawa said. He felt annoyed; partly because Aizawa didn’t understand. He only seen it from his own point of view and not Matsuda’s. But the other, bigger reason why Matsuda was annoyed was because he knew that Aizawa wasn’t wrong. He knew that telling Sayu was a bad idea for many reasons, but he still felt that it would be better to be honest with her. He looked up to the sky, and wondered what Soichiro would want him to do. He felt terrible.

After a lengthy walk back, he reached his apartment and began routing for his keys. _Had he left them in the office?_ Crap. He hoped someone had left a spare around somewhere or maybe he had left a window open by mistake. He began searching under the mat and in plant pots until he heard a car horn, and he turned around swiftly. Aizawa?

“Hey, you left your keys in the office.” He said as he lent out the window, and he threw them towards Matsuda, causing him to dive to catch them. Was he still angry with him? Probably. He’d seemed livid before. Either way, Matsuda was grateful that he drove all that way to his house to give him his keys back.

“Thank you…” Matsuda began, and Aizawa nodded.

“No problem. Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.” He apologised, and Matsuda got up, walking towards the car.

“Hey, it’s fine, I understand why you got angry…” Matsuda began before Aizawa interrupted.

“No, I mean it. I still think it’s a crazy, stupid and dangerous idea but…” He sighed and looked down at the wheel. “I get why you’d want to tell her. I felt terrible when I had to keep the fact I had quit the police from my wife and daughter. It broke me.” He turned his gaze back onto Matsuda. “What I’m getting at is, I personally don’t think you should tell her; however, I can’t blame you if you do. Because I’d probably do the same if it were my family.” He started the engine back up, and Matsuda smiled.

 “Thank you Aizawa.” He said once again, and the two shared a look of understanding before Aizawa drove off and Matsuda unlocked the door to his apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day Matsuda was up early and ready for work, so to pass time he spent the morning checking over the case details. As he sat in the driver’s seat of his car, he made sure he had everything he needed before he left. Keys? Check. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday. Gun? Check. He hoped he wouldn’t need to use it, but their mission today would be a dangerous one and he wanted to make sure that there were precautions put in place. Phone? Check. That was everything.

He turned on the car engine and began driving to the office. As he approached the building he saw the four members of the task force standing outside and he waved at them. “Hey guys! Yamamoto, I see you’re back to your normal self again!” Matsuda stated, and the young man gave a sheepish smile.

“Yeah, it was just a stomach bug, but I feel a lot better now. Plus, I couldn’t stay off today, it’s my first assignment with L, so it’s too important for me to not be here for.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, That’s true.” Matsuda nodded. “Well I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He replied, then drove around the back of the building so he could park his car.

“Near Will be coming to get us in fifteen minutes.” Mogi informed them all as he checked his watch, and Matsuda walked over. He was quiet for once.

“The Yellow Box warehouse. It’s a kind of twisted fate that we’ll be returning there…” Matsuda sighed as he leaned against the wall. Everyone apart from Yamamoto – who hadn’t been present the last time they went there – nodded in agreement.

“It’s probably just a popular spot for criminals. After all, L chose it because it was an abandoned place that was surrounded by concrete walls so no one could see what was going on. That same reasoning could be used by criminals when choosing a place to do their activities.” Aizawa reasoned.

Their conversation was cut short as a car with blacked out windows drove over and halted in front of them, and Halle Linder, one of the SPK members who still worked with Near, got out. “I’m glad to see that you are all well. L is waiting for you inside.” She said as she opened the car doors for them. One by one the task force members got inside and sat down.

“I see that you are all prepared. Good.” Near stated, smiling up at them all. “This shouldn’t take too long, and I have back up willing to help us out if things don’t go to plan.” He explained. As the five of them listened to what Near had to say, Linder returned to the front of the car. While she drove them to their destination, Near and the task force members talked in the back, making sure that all the details of the plan were known to everyone.

They eventually stopped outside the warehouse, and made their way out of the car, looking around the exterior of the building cautiously. It was a relief to see that there was no one around guarding the building, that made it easier for them to go in unnoticed.

“How should we go in? Going in head on through the main entrance is suicide, it’s bound to be guarded that way.” Matsuda stated and Near diverted his attention to him.

“Don’t worry, I have already taken that possibility into consideration. Remember the back entrance that Teru Mikami used to look inside and get our names?” Near asked, and Matsuda nodded. “We will go in that way, assess the situation the same way he did, and if it is not heavily guarded inside, which I don’t think it will be due to the lack of surveillance out here, then we will go in and catch them in the act. If it is heavily guarded then I will contact backup. Also, Linder is connected to a wire-tap that is hidden under my shirt. If anything goes any way that isn’t in accordance with my plan she will use her own initiative to get us out of the situation.” He explained.

They all made their way to the back entrance of the building, and piled in behind the door. Matsuda clutched his gun tightly. “Do you want me to open it...?” He whispered, and Aizawa looked at Near, who nodded. Matsuda gently and slowly opened the metal door just enough where he could look inside. He had a good enough view of five men stood in a circle, however he could not tell if there would be any more in his blind spots. He turned to Near and motioned the number five using his hand.

Near stopped to think and then whispered, “Are they armed?”.

Matsuda took another look and nodded, but then held up two fingers. Only two were armed. Near nodded and pointed to Matsuda, Yamamoto and Mogi. He was telling the three of them to go in alone? What about Aizawa and Ide? Nevertheless, they agreed. They needed to trust Near otherwise it would all have been for nothing.

Matsuda, Yamamoto and Mogi all readied their weapons, and slammed the door open.

“Freeze! Drop your weapons!” Mogi yelled as Matsuda took up position on his left side and Yamamoto took up position on his left. “If you do not cooperate then we will shoot.” He threatened. The five men began to raise their arms, but then suddenly the three that were not armed ran towards the front exit and the two-armed men shot at Mogi, hitting him in the torso. Matsuda felt flashbacks to when he shot Light as he pointed the gun at one of the armed men and pulled the trigger, hitting him in the leg. Yamamoto ran to the other armed man, pinning him down. He was terrified, but he wasn’t going to let his inexperience show. He used all his training to restrain the man, and once he had disarmed him, Mogi made his way over, and put a pair of handcuffs on him. He then sank to the ground, holding his chest. “Thank god for bullet-proof vests, eh? Still hurts like a bitch though…” He groaned. Him and Yamamoto made sure that the first of the criminals were restrained, and then they turned their attention to Matsuda, who had managed to handcuff the second one.

“He’ll need his wound looking at afterwards, but I got him.” He said, as he let out a sigh, but then they looked around. Crap, where were the other three men that were unarmed? As they got up to begin searching, Aizawa, Ide and Linder walked in, holding onto the three remaining men, all handcuffed. Near followed behind.

“There are police cars outside, each of you escort one of them a vehicle please.” Near instructed.

The task force members and Linder did as Near asked, and after the five criminals were put into the cars and the drugs seized, they made their way over to Near. “What was that all about? How come you decided to change the plan?” Mogi asked.

Near smirked. “Simple. Upon finding out that there were some of them who were unarmed, I knew that they would do one of two things; run, or hide behind the armed ones. My bets were on them running, as they would be the ones with the drugs hidden on their person. So, I called Linder and asked her to meet me, Aizawa and Ide at the front entrance, where we would catch the unarmed criminals trying to escape.”

No one could argue with that, and after the police cars drove off, they made their way back to their own car.

“How are you feeling Mogi?” Matsuda asked as they all got in the back of the car and began to drive off. Mogi smiled.

“I’m fine, the bullet was stopped by my vest.” He stated, but he was still in pain from the impact.

Near turned to them. “Thank you all for your help.” He said sincerely. “It was a dangerous job but you handled it well, and you put your trust in me, so thank you.”

“No need to thank us, it was all possible thanks to you, L!” Matsuda said happily, and Mogi nodded in agreement.

“Although I didn’t appreciate getting shot at, I still believe it couldn’t have gone better without your input, Near.” Mogi added. Near smiled.

“Yeah, sorry about that. That wasn’t part of my plan.” Near admitted.

On the way back, Linder dropped them all off at the office, and Yamamoto finally let his guard down. “Jeez! That was terrifying…” He sighed, and Matsuda patted him on the back.

“You did well back there! Remind me to buy you a drink next time we go out!” Matsuda praised him, and the others chuckled.

Mogi stepped in to also praise Yamamoto’s efforts. “Matsuda’s right. You didn’t hesitate and you did what was right, well done.”

Yamamoto smiled awkwardly at the praise. “Thanks guys.” He muttered.

They were all exhausted, so they decided it would be best to call it a day, and Matsuda couldn’t agree more as he walked around the back and got into his car. He wanted to see Sayu, but he wasn’t sure if she would be busy with college work. _But then again, he’d only be stopping in for a minute…_

He decided to just go ahead with it, and made his way to Sayu’s house, but on his way he stopped at a toy shop. He knew he’d probably look soppy and like a bit of a hopeless romantic, but a thought had come into his head and he couldn’t not act upon it. He parked nearby and walked inside, looking around at the huge array of stuffed plush toys, unsure of what one would be perfect for Sayu. He looked around for a few minutes, before he seen one that caught his eye. It was a little stuffed dog, and Matsuda thought it looked adorable, so he picked it up and bought it.

He made his way over to Sayu’s house and knocked. Sayu answered this time, and before he could even say ‘hi’, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a big hug.

“Matsuda! I didn’t expect you to come over tonight, come in!” She exclaimed excitedly and he followed her to the living room.

“Actually, I wanted to bring you something…” He said as he held out the bag towards her. She looked at it curiously and he pulled out the plushie dog. “I thought it might help with the nightmares… I can’t always be there, but I hoped that even when I’m not there, you could have this, and it’d help…” He blushed as he handed it to her, and she gasped, hugging him again.

“Thank you so much… It’s adorable…” She breathed, looking at the plushie dog. “You didn’t have to…” She began.

“I wanted to.” He said, and kissed her cheek. She was the one to blush brightly this time.

“That reminds me, there’s something I want to give to you too…” She said as she grabbed a piece of paper. “I kept forgetting to give you my mobile number.” She stated as she began writing down her mobile number, then passed the piece of paper to him. “Maybe it’ll be easier to arrange when to go out next time.” She giggled and he nodded.

“Yeah that will definitely help.” He chuckled as he typed the number into his phone and saved it to his contacts. He smiled, then got up. “I should probably get going now, it’s been a long day and I’m tired so I don’t want to be driving too late, but I’m glad I got to see you…” He said, and she nodded. The two embraced once again and Sayu clung onto him, not wanting to let go.

“Thank you for the plushie… I love it so much…” She thanked him, and he smiled.

“You’re welcome, I’m really glad you like it…” He said shyly before the two moved away.

“Goodnight…” She said as he stepped outside.

“Goodnight Sayu…” He echoed happily, before heading back to his car. “I’ll text you when I get home okay?” He promised excitedly as he turned on the engine and Sayu gigged, waving as he drove off.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day was a pretty uneventful one for both Matsuda and Sayu.

Matsuda had spent the morning in the office. It had been a slow day so far and he had spent most of it checking and confirming files that had been given to him and the other task force members by L before forwarding them to the Japanese police force, and he had also spent his spare time nodding off to sleep occasionally when there was nothing else to do. Sayu on the other hand, had spent the day at home, watching tv and reading comics. She lay on the couch, cuddling the plushie dog that Matsuda had bought her and watching one of her romance dramas until her mother came home with the shopping.

Sayu got up as she heard the front door opening, and she went into the hallway, taking a few of the bags that Sachiko had already placed on the floor. “I’ll help you put the shopping away.” Sayu offered, and Sachiko smiled gratefully.

“Thank you sweetie.” She responded. The two went into the kitchen and Sayu began helping her mother take the food out of the bags and put them away. Once they had finished Sachiko took a seat beside her daughter on the couch.

“Sayu, I want to talk to you about something…” She said, and Sayu looked up at her curiously.

“What is it Mum?” She asked her. Sachiko looked over to the photo of her husband that was placed on the table, reminiscing.

“I remember when I first started dating your father…” She began, then looked back at Sayu. “He had just started working for the police, and I had met him a few times because he lived in the same neighbourhood as me. We started going out together and began to fall in love quickly.” She looked back on the memory with fondness. She could tell by the look on her daughter’s face that she was confused about where this was all going, so she continued. “Your father worried about me. He told me that his occupation was dangerous and he was worried about being with me in case something bad happened to him in work, or in case it somehow ended up involving me being put in danger. I told your father that something like that would never stop me from being with him, and so we continued going out and eventually got married and had Light and you, but…” She paused and let out a sigh. “He still worried about how his occupation would affect the three of us. He never stopped worrying about it. And that is why he was so hard on Matsuda when he first shown his true feelings for you. But in all honesty, I think your father would approve of yours and Matsuda’s relationship once he seen how much you two meant to each other. I see it, and I’m sure he would have too.”

Sayu was speechless. She had no idea that her father had felt that way. Sayu reached over and hugged her mum, and Sachiko hugged her back. “Thank you Mum…” Sayu said, and Sachiko stroked her hair softly.

“Don’t thank me sweetie, I felt that it was only right to tell you, as I once was in the same place you were. Just remember you can tell me anything, okay?”

Sayu nodded. “I know mum, thank you.”

Sachiko gave a smile, then changed the subject to a lighter one. “Now how about I get dinner started, and then we can watch that programme you like so much afterwards?” Sachiko offered, and Sayu grinned.

“Yes please!” She exclaimed as she reached for the television remote. Sachiko chuckled and went into the kitchen to start dinner, while Sayu changed the channel so that they were ready for when the show began.

Meanwhile at the task force headquarters, Matsuda had just finished his shift and he sighed, getting up to leave. Just before he did however, he saw Yamamoto, who by the look of things had also just finished too. He was on his way to the room where the coats were kept, and Matsuda walked over and flung his arm around his shoulder.

“Yamamoto! How about we go to the bar tonight? I still owe you that drink!” Matsuda offered, grinning.

“Yeah sure!” Yamamoto laughed. “Let me just grab my jacket then we’ll walk over.”

The two made their way to the bar that was just down the road from the headquarters, and were surprised to see that Ide and Aizawa were already there.

“Hey guys!” Yamamoto called, and the two turned around.

“Hey!” Ide waved, and Aizawa nodded as a greeting to the two. Matsuda and Yamamoto went over and sat with them.

“Jeez, work was so boring today…” Matsuda groaned and Aizawa chuckled.

“Yeah, but it was a nice relief after what happened yesterday. I couldn’t have done that two days in a row.” Yamamoto pointed out.

“True. At least it’s Friday though.” Ide added. Aizawa nodded in agreement.

“Hey what does everyone want? I’ll go get drinks.” Matsuda offered, getting up.

“I’ll have sake.” Ide said.

“I’ll have a whisky.” Aizawa added.

Yamamoto thought for a second “I’ll have a beer.”

Matsuda smiled, and went over to the bar to get the drinks, and the others spoke about work. “So how are you finding it Yamamoto?” Ide asked him and Yamamoto smiled back.

“I’m starting to get into the swing of things yeah, it just, it feels crazy you know? It’s hard to believe I’ve moved up this high in such little time.” He admitted. Just as he finished speaking Matsuda returned, placing their drinks down on the table and taking a seat beside Yamamoto.

“You’ve worked hard though, you deserved your position with the task force.” Aizawa said, and took a sip of his whisky.

“Thanks…” Yamamoto smiled, and drank some of his beer. “So, do you guys have much planned for the weekend?” he asked.

Ide shook his head. “nothing too exciting, probably just going to stay at home and relax to be honest.” He looked at Aizawa. “what about you?”

“I’m going away for a couple of days with my wife and daughter. It’ll be nice to get away for a little while.” He replied.

“That sounds sweet!” Matsuda chimed. “I’m probably going to visit Sayu at some point, but I have nothing else planned really… What about you Yamamoto?”

Yamamoto shook his head. “Yeah I’ve not really got any plans, so I’ll probably just be staying at home too.”

The four guys spent the evening drinking, and once everyone had bought a couple of rounds of drinks each, Ide and Aizawa decided they’d call it a night.

“I’ll probably get going, got to be up early tomorrow so I don’t want to be drinking too much. I’ll see you guys soon.” Aizawa said, getting up.

“Yeah I’ll probably head off too, so I’ll see you guys on Monday.” Ide said as he joined Aizawa, and waved to Matsuda and Yamamoto.

They waved back, and Matsuda bought two more drinks. One for him and one for Yamamoto. The two sat at the bar and Yamamoto turned to Matsuda inquisitively. “So this Sayu, the girl you like… She has some sort of connection with the Kira incident?” He asked. Matsuda realised he had been left in the dark on what had happened, so he nodded and got ready to explain everything.

“Sayu is the daughter of Chief Yagami… He was one of the best agents, and he led us in the Kira investigation.” He began, and Yamamoto listened. “She suffered a lot. Her father died, she was held hostage by a gang who wanted Kira’s weapon, and lastly, it turned out her own brother was Kira.”

There was look of shock on Yamamoto’s face. He hadn’t been told all of the details on the Kira case, as it wasn’t necessary for him to know it all just yet. “That’s horrible…”

Matsuda nodded. “It’s really horrible. Her brother died, but… Sayu and her mother never found out that he was Kira.”

“That must be hard, trying to keep that from her.”

Matsuda nodded. “It is… I want to tell her. It hurts keeping something so big from her.” He sighed and drank some of his beer. “I want to just be honest but… Aizawa and I argued over it; he thinks it’s a bad idea to tell her.”

Yamamoto thought about what Matsuda had told him. “I can imagine that it’ll hurt her if she finds out but, I don’t think it’s right on you having to keep the secret.” He paused as he drank, then continued. “In my opinion, in this case it’s better to tell her the painful truth then a kind lie… Because I feel like you two won’t be on the same level with each other until you can be truly honest.”

Matsuda appreciated his input. “Thank you…” He finished his drink. “I’ll tell her…” He promised, as he got up. I’ll go over tomorrow, and I’ll tell her everything.”

Yamamoto finished the last of his drink too. “I hope it all goes well for you…”

Matsuda sighed, feeling the alcohol start to take effect. “Thanks… Hey, I’m probably going to head home now, I’ll see you later.” He said, getting up.

Yamamoto followed his lead, getting up too. “Yeah I’ll probably get going now too. You’ll be okay?” He asked and Matsuda nodded.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll let you know how it goes on Monday. See you later.” He smiled, and they went their separate ways.

Matsuda walked home, and as on his way he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He opened his messages and pulled up Sayu’s number. He didn’t even think about it, he just started typing as he walked. Part of his inhibition in what he was writing was due to the fact he was inebriated. But a bigger part of it was the fact he knew he’d have to tell her about Light being Kira, so he wanted to get his feelings for her off his chest before that, so she knew how he truly felt.

“ _Hey Sayu, I know this is a bit random message but I wanted to make sure that you to know how much you mean to me. I was too afraid to tell you in person but I feel amazing when I’m with you, and it feels natural being with you. So yeah, that’s how I feel. Sorry that this message is really soppy, I just felt like it needed to be said.”_

He sighed and hit send, before walking the rest of the way home.


	7. Chapter 7

Matsuda woke up and groaned, holding his head whilst simultaneously wincing at the throbbing pain he felt as soon as he moved. He reached over to his bedside table to grab a glass of water, to try and prevent the inevitable incoming alcohol induced headache that was just beginning to start, and as he did he seen his phone was lit up. He winced away from the brightness, shilding his eyes before noticing what it said on the screen. One new message, and it was from Sayu. Oh no.

He grabbed his phone and opened the outbox, reading over the text he had sent to Sayu last night. He’d forgotten what he had written, and as he read over the cringy message he let out another groan, dreading seeing her reply. He knew she’d probably be making fun of him, or in the very least laughing at the message he had sent and pittying him. He went to his inbox and opened it, reading the message she had sent him.

_“Matsuda, that text was so sweet and a nice suprise, thank you so much! I feel the same way about you too, It's kind of embarrassing but I know I can be myself around you. You make me feel really happy, and I enjoy being around you, more than I’ve ever enjoyed being around anyone else before. You mean a lot to me, and I’m grateful that I have you by my side Xx”_

Matsuda felt his face heat up as he read it, and the sensation of butterflies filled his stomach due to his nervous excitement over her reply. She didn’t laugh at the embarrassing message; she'd liked it. He was in shock.

Once Matsuda had finished reading the message a couple of times over in disbelief, he got up out of bed; determined to go see her but first deciding he had to make himself look more presentable. He had fallen asleep in his work clothes and his hair was a mess.

He gulped down the glass of water, feeling the immediate relief from his dry throat, and he made his way to the bathroom. He undressed, tossing his clothes into the washing basket in the corner of the room and turning on the water, stepping in. The water felt refreshing on his skin, and as he showered, he thought over what he was going to say to Sayu. He wanted to tell her the truth today and get it over with and out the way so that they could finally be closer with no secrets between them, but he was scared to do so. What could he possibly say to make the truth hurt her less? He couldn’t think of anything at all that he could do that would prevent the news from breaking her heart.

After 10 minutes or so he climbed out of the shower, dried himself off and returned to his bedroom. He felt a lot more awake now, and he began to look around for something to wear whilst throwing on a pair of underwear. He settled for a pair of jeans and a shirt before falling back onto his bed and giving an exasperated sigh. He glanced at his phone again, and began to text Sayu, saying he’d be right over, before getting up, grabbing his shoes and leaving the apartment.

Matsuda got into his car and gripped at the steering wheel, trying to calm himself down so that he wouldn’t be an anxious mess as soon as he saw her face. He took a few deep breaths and turned on the engine, before he pulled out onto the road and made his way over to see Sayu.

As he pulled up outside her house, Sayu opened the door and ran over to the car excitedly, and he got out to greet her. She hugged him tightly as soon as he shut the car door, and he blushed, hugging her back. “Hey Sayu…” He mumbled as he held her close, his arms wrapping around her. He wished he could just stay like that, holding onto her in that moment of happiness. She held onto him for a few seconds before letting go, and the two went inside. He looked around nervously, Sachiko wasn’t home, so it was just him and Sayu there.

“How have you been?” He asked as he sat down on the couch, and she joined him. She had a bright smile on her face, and she looked genuinely happy. He felt both comfort in seeing her in a good mood, but also pained knowing he'd be the one to eventually ruin it. It broke his heart to think about, so he tried unsuccessfully to temporarily shrug it off.

“I’ve been good thanks, just a little bored; haven’t had much to do for a while since I don’t start college for another few weeks, so I’ve done all the work I can until then. what about you? How have you been?” She asked, oblivious to his inner turmoil.

Matsuda sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty bored too; work yesterday was so dull, I was clock watching most of the day…” He complained, and she giggled at his expression.

“Yeah, I guess that does sound pretty boring, I don’t envy you there. I don't think I could do what you do...” She replied, and got up. “Would you like anything? I’m going to get myself something to eat, i'm so hungry, i could eat just about anything right now.” She asked, and he shook his head. Sayu disappeared into the kitchen to get herself some food and he forced himself to get up and follow her. As he walked in he seen her searching through the cupboards, and he leant against the kitchen wall. He hated to ruin the mood they had, but he needed to do it now or he would just continue to put it off like this, and she’d never find out the truth. It was now or never.

“Hey Sayu…” He began, and she turned to face him.

“Yeah?” She said as she turned around, smiling. She saw the expression on his face and her smiled disappeared. She had never seen Matsuda look so serious. A look of worry appeared on her face. “Is something wrong?”

Matsuda hesitated. “I need to tell you something.”

Sayu wondered what it could be, but she couldn’t think of anything. In her mind, everything was great between them, so she couldn’t imagine what it was that was on his mind. She took a seat at the dinner table and placed all of her attention to the man standing in front of her. “What is it...?” She asked, and he sat down opposite her.

“I need to tell you the truth, about who Kira was and what actually happened to your father and brother…” He began, and Sayu furrowed her eyebrows, unable to process what he was saying.

“The truth? I thought…” She began, but trailed off, not finishing her sentence. She paused before starting again. “What truth? I thought Aizawa already told me and my mum what happened to Light and my Dad-” She stuttered in confusion, but Matsuda shook his head sadly.

“Kira was… Kira was Light.” Matsuda choked out; he felt physically sick saying the words, and once they had finally been said he felt even worse. There was no going back now, and he felt his world crumbling down on him as he saw the look on Sayu’s face.

She was speechless. She couldn’t process what he had just told her. Her own brother? A murderer? There was no way that could be true. “Th-That isn’t funny Matsuda… Don’t joke like that…” She managed to mutter. “Light couldn’t have… There’s no way he could have… Could he...?” She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and an expression made up of a combination of anger, hurt, upset and misunderstanding on her face.

“I’m sorry.” Matsuda said, looking down at the floor. “I couldn’t believe it when I found out. It hurt all of us. I didn’t want to believe it…”

“Light did this...? All of this...?” She echoed. “How could it have been Light? That’s impossible… What about Dad’s death…?” She was shaking now.

“Your father died in hospital… He was shot by a guy called Mello who wanted the dea-” He paused, it wasn’t time for her to know about the death note right now, that would just confuse her further. He continued, rephrasing the last part. “who wanted Kira’s power to kill.”

Sayu was silent. She clasped her hands on the table and stared down at them.

“And Light. How did he really die then? Kira couldn’t have been the one to kill him if he was Kira. I want to know the truth.” She demanded.

Matsuda bit his lip. He and everyone else who had been there knew that Light had been killed by Ryuk; that the Shinigami had written his name in his own death note after he had lost to Near and the task force. But he couldn’t tell Sayu that, and had to take responsibility now for the fact that he had been the one to shoot Light. Yes, it had saved his and everyone else’s life, but in his mind at least, he was still in part responsible for Light’s death. If Ryuk hadn’t written his name in his notebook, then Light would have died from blood loss. “I shot him.” Matsuda confessed, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he recalled the memory. “Light was going to kill us, so I had to disarm him… I had to do it, but I still feel terrible for what I did.”

Sayu couldn’t look up at him. She couldn’t speak. A minute of silence went by, and it felt like hours.

Matsuda broke the silence. “I’m really sorry Sayu, I wanted you to know but I was scared you’d hate me… I hated myself for what happened…”

“Matsuda, I’m sorry but, I really need to be alone right now.” She managed to say as she got up. She wanted desperately to hold onto him and cry. She wanted him to comfort her and make her feel safe, but she couldn’t bear to look at him after what he’d told her. She needed time before she could face him again. It hurt her to push him away like this, but she felt like she had no other choice. Everything she had come to terms with over the past year had been a lie. She had only just begun to recover from the distress it had caused her and her mother, and now it felt like she was starting again from scratch. It was like it had all happened all over again and she felt scared and alone.

 Matsuda felt hurt by her words, but he knew she was right. He knew him being there wouldn’t help anything, so he got up and walked towards the door. He looked over at her once more before he left, hoping for something, anything. Just a sign that things would be okay between them, but she didn’t even look towards him. She just stood in the kitchen.

He let his head drop as he walked out of the house and made his way over to his car.

He got in and started up the engine, letting out a quiet sigh. He had to give her space, but it was going to be difficult. He wanted to stay with her and apologise again and again and again, until somehow everything was okay, but he knew that wouldn’t work.

He made his way out of the street and began the drive home, feeling the loneliest he had felt in a long time. He didn’t put radio on, so he was alone with his thoughts for the duration of the journey, and that journey felt like it lasted a lifetime.

Once he got back to his apartment he walked inside, shut the door behind him and sat in front of the television. He turned it on just so that there was something in the background, and so that he could drown out his thoughts in the mindless noise from the box. Impulsively he checked his phone, but there was nothing. No missed calls and no texts. Not that he had expected any, but he had had a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe there would have been.

He sighed and put his mobile phone on the table, curling up on the couch and grabbing a blanket, draping it over himself as he watched the programme that was being broadcast. It was nothing interesting, so he let himself drift off to sleep, with the sound from the television providing a comforting ambience. He didn’t care that it was only the evening, he felt exhausted. He just wanted this all to be over, like it was one bad dream.


	8. Chapter 8

Matsuda woke up from his nap and immediately reached for his phone. He turned it on, wincing slightly at the brightness and lowering it down before checking to see if there was anything from Sayu. Still nothing.

He checked the time. It was pretty early, almost 6am, which meant he had slept for just under twelve hours. That was the longest sleep he had had in a very long time. Rather than feeling well rested though, he just felt dazed and could feel a headache coming on due to oversleeping. _‘As if things could get any worse.’_ He thought to himself.

He sighed as he looked at the tv that he had left on while he slept, and noticed that the news was now being broadcast. He wasn’t really paying attention to it, until suddenly he noticed the image on the screen. Each one of the crime syndicate members that had been involved in the drug heist that the task force and Near had intercepted earlier that week were finally being publicly announced as incarcerated, though no credit was given to the task force members for their arrest.

Once the report was over there was some boring babble about the current state of the economics in Japan, so in order to save himself from the dull news, he got up to get himself some breakfast. Matsuda grabbed a bowl and some cereal from the cupboard and went over to get the milk from the fridge before sitting down at his kitchen table. He poured them into the bowl, still watching his phone, waiting for the text or phone call that he was hoping for but knew would never come. This was pure torture.

He gave up and opened his contact list, promising himself he would only allow himself to call her once, and after that, if she didn’t answer him then he would leave her alone. No matter how hard it would be.

He brought up her number, and pressed the call button.

With each ring he began to feel more and more nervous. What would he say if she did pick up? He waited. After what felt like a life time of ringing, it went to voicemail. He sighed, and left her a message.

“Sayu, I’m sorry… I’m sorry for everything and I know you’re mad at me, and I know you probably never want to look at me again after yesterday. But I want you to know that I don’t expect you to forgive me. I understand that this could take a lifetime to fix, and I can’t blame you if you never do forgive me, hell I don’t forgive myself for it. I’ll be waiting here for you for as long as it takes, and I’ll always be a phone call away if you need me. Goodbye Sayu.” And with that he hung up. He was on the verge of tears, but he had done it, and now he had to wait it out, and let time decide what would become of him and Sayu.

As he put his phone down onto the table, he decided that it would be best for him to go get some fresh air and get out of the apartment for a little while. It would help him clear his mind, and he could also go get a coffee which he hoped would make him feel at least a little bit less lousy. He got up and grabbed some clean clothes from his draws, and began getting dressed. His plan was that if he kept himself active, he could possibly make himself feel better and help himself pass the time.

Meanwhile, Sayu was sat on the couch at home, wrapped up in blankets. She hadn’t slept at all, and had instead just stayed up watching reruns of old drama series on tv, not really paying attention to it, but using it as a form of escape and a way to keep her mind off things. But it wasn’t really working very well, and out of the corner of her eye she noticed her phone light up. _1 new voicemail_ the text on the screen read. She sighed, and turned her phone over, not wanting to check it. She knew it would be from Matsuda, and she couldn’t do it right now.

She leaned back into the couch and wrapped the quilt around herself even more tightly, swaddling herself in it to provide herself with comfort and warmth. As she did so, she heard footsteps behind her, and she turned her head to see her mum coming down the stairs.

“Sayu...? What are you doing up so early?” Sachiko asked inquisitively.

Sayu wasn’t sure what to say, so she hid all of her emotions behind a fake smile. “I woke up and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I decided to come sit down here.” She lied, but Sachiko knew her daughter better than that, and she took a seat in the space beside her.

“Did something happen? You know you can talk to me about anything.” She offered, looking her daughter in the eyes.

“I know…” Sayu began. “It’s nothing, really… It’s just…” She began, and Sachiko gave her an encouraging smile.

“It’s just what?”

She sighed. “Matsuda told me something yesterday, something bad… He said that we weren’t told the truth about the Kira investigation, and he told me about what really happened...To Dad and L-Light…” She stuttered. She didn’t really want to tell her mum. She didn’t want to see her upset too, but she needed to. It wouldn’t be fair for her to know and not Sachiko. “Matsuda told me that Light was Kira…” She said, feeling horrible.

Sachiko took a second to respond, but when she did, she was calm and collected. She kept her voice low and soothing. “I see…" She took a minute to formulate her words properly, and organise her thoughts. "That must have been very difficult for Matsuda to tell you…” She stated, and Sayu gave her a confused look.

“You’re not angry at them for hiding it? You’re not upset about it...?” Sayu asked, wondering how her mother could be so calm about it when Sayu was so emotional about it all.

“No, I am upset about it. It breaks my heart to know that throughout everything your father did, and all that he sacrificed, that it was Light. Being completely honest, I find it impossible to believe it. Light is my son, and imagining that he could be capable of doing such a thing is horrible. But I know that for Matsuda to tell you the truth, he must have really cared for you. No matter how much it hurts us, it must be hurting Matsuda too. He must have known all this time, and he had to make a decision whether to keep lying to you or to tell you the truth. I can imagine it was eating him up inside, playing on his mind constantly.” She paused before continuing. “Don’t lose him over this Sayu… He loves you so much, otherwise he would have let you continue to believe in a lie. You don’t have to go to him straight away. I understand you need time to yourself to sort out your feelings and come to terms with everything he said, but don’t block him out of your life because of this.”

Sayu nodded. Her Mother always helped her see reason when her mind was too clouded with emotion. She really admired how Sachiko could make a rational judgement in situations like this. “I know Mum, I know he’s not in the wrong… It just, it hurts knowing that everything we were told about the Kira investigation was a lie.”

“And it will do. The truth can hurt, I can’t deny that. But he can be your support.” She said, and leaned over, kissing the top of her daughter’s head.

She thought for a moment, then decided to try to cheer Sayu up by changing the subject to something lighter. “I’m going to go out for a little while, would you like to come with me?” She offered and Sayu managed to form a smile, nodding.

“Yeah… I’ll go get dressed now. I’ll be right down.” Sayu said, getting up from the couch and grabbing her quilt and phone. Sachiko smiled at her, and she smiled back, going upstairs and into her room.

As she went inside, she placed her quilt and phone on her bed, before going to her wardrobe and looking through it. She grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans, and began getting dressed, then combed her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail. Just before she went to go back downstairs, she remembered the voicemail. Reaching for her phone, Sayu sat on the bed and began to dial the number needed to retrieve the message. She called the number and waited, until the automated voice announced the number and began to play the voicemail message. It was from Matsuda.

“Sayu, I’m sorry… I’m sorry for everything…” The message began. The moment she heard his voice, she felt her chest ache and tears well up in her eyes. She missed him so much. She continued listening to every word, holding the phone close. At the end of the message, she felt tears run down her cheeks as Matsuda began to wrap up the message. “I’ll be waiting here for you for as long as it takes.” Those words meant so much to her; hearing them made her feel a lot better and as she thought about what her mother had told her, she noticed that she was no longer angry with him.

She hugged the phone close to her chest, and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Her mother was right, and she knew that. Matsuda was just as hurt as she was and he was suffering from what had happened too. It was unfair for her to take it out on him. She contemplated calling him back as she brought up his number on her phone, but just at that moment Sachiko caught her off guard when she knocked on her bedroom door.  “Are you ready yet Sayu?” She asked from the hallway.

Sayu got up off her bed, putting the phone down beside the stuffed dog that Matsuda had given her, and she grabbed a jacket from the coat rack on the back of her door. “Yeah! I’m ready!” She called back, giving her eyes one final wipe and checking herself in the mirror before going outside to her mother. “Sorry to keep you waiting…” She apologised, and Sachiko smiled.

“That’s okay Sweetie, let’s get going.” She said, and the two made their way downstairs together.

“How are you feeling?” Sachiko asked as she reached for her own coat, putting it on. Sayu looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

“I feel a lot better… Thanks Mum.” Sayu said, as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her tightly. She was feeling happier now and a lot less worried after their talk. She was grateful for her mother’s calm way of handling things, and for the advice that Sachiko always gave her whenever she was in a situation that she felt overwhelmed by.

Sachiko beamed, hugging her back. “Anytime Sweetie, that’s what I’m here for. Now, how about we go get some milkshakes?” She asked and Sayu giggled, nodding.

“I’d like that!” She replied, as they made their way to the café not far from their house.


	9. Chapter 9

It was the next day and Matsuda was at the office, keeping himself busy with as much work as he could find. He’d managed to convince himself to stop checking his phone constantly, and had left it in his coat pocket, which was in the room down the hallway.

He was the first and only one in the office, and he was waiting for everyone else to come in. He wasn’t looking forward to taking the fall for what he’d done, but he knew he had to. And that he’d have to tell Near too. Matsuda was preparing himself for the worst-case scenario when he suddenly heard the door open behind him, and he looked over his shoulder to see Yamamoto walking in.

 He gave a sigh of relief. If he had to face any of the task force members, he was glad it was him. He knew that Yamamoto wouldn’t give him a hard time for telling Sayu, but he couldn’t say the same for the others.

“Hey Matsuda.” Yamamoto said nonchalantly as he took a seat beside him. “How was your weekend?”

“Well, I’ve had better...” He muttered, and Yamamoto caught on, suddenly becoming a lot more animated. With a sympathetic look on his face, he turned to face him.

“So I take it you told her then…” He guessed, and Matsuda nodded. “You did the right thing you know, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.” He added, trying to lift his colleague’s mood a little. Matsuda was normally so cheery and childish, even to the point that it usually irritated everyone else who was present, so it didn’t feel right seeing him so sullen.

“I know that it was the right thing to do… But she’s not talking to me at all now. I understand she’s mad at me, but what if this is it? What if she never wants to see me again...?” Matsuda’s voice broke as the panic began to set in. He’d tried not to think about the possibility of them never speaking again, but now it was staring him in the face.

Yamamoto could tell he was going to keep beating himself up over the situation, so he turned to face him. “I’m sure that won’t be the case. I think she just needs time, after all, you’ve got to admit that it’s a lot for her to come to terms with. Give her a few more days, then maybe try visiting her.”

Matsuda bit his lip, looking down. “Yeah, maybe… I just don’t want to keep hurting her like this.”

“And you won’t. Now that this whole thing is out in the open there’s no more lies between you two. You’ll be better off in the long run now that you’re both being completely honest with each other.”

Just as Yamamoto finished his sentence, the door opened and the three task members walked into the office. Matsuda felt his stomach turn, as he waited for them to walk over.

“Hi guys.” Yamamoto greeted them as they all took their seats around the table and opened their laptops.

Mogi gave him a smirk in response. “Hey.”

Ide smiled. “Hey Yamamoto, Matsuda. You’re both in early.”

“Not really, I only just got here myself about 5 minutes ago, Matsuda’s the one who got here before me.”  Yamamoto stated.

“Yeah, and my peace and quiet was nice while it lasted.” Matsuda joked half-heartedly, trying to make it seem like there was nothing wrong, and that he was his usual overly peppy self. He wanted to just get through the day with as much normality as possible.

As they all made small talk about their weekend activities, Aizawa turned to Matsuda, noticing his change of demeanour. “You alright?” He asked in a concerned tone, and Matsuda lifted his head to look at him, slightly shocked at the level of his sympathy, after being so against the idea of him telling Sayu in the first place. “I’m assuming you told her the truth.”

“I will be, and yeah… I know I shouldn’t have, but I promise to take full responsibility for what I did…”

Aizawa nodded, opening the document files he needed. He replied without taking his eyes of the laptop screen. “I’m sure everything will turn out okay in the end. She’ll be grateful that you chose to be honest with her.”

“Yeah, I hope you’re right. Thank you Aizawa…” Matsuda said, giving him a small smile. He didn’t really understand what had caused the massive change of heart, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

As the others concentrated on their work, Matsuda decided it was time to get the unavoidable task over and done with. He shut his laptop and got up, walking out into the hallway. He let out a sigh as he walked over to the room where he’s left his coat and grabbed it, pulling his phone out of the pocket. He began dialling Near’s number and then pressed call. On the third ring, he picked up.

 _“Hello?”_ Said the heavily distorted voice coming from the other end, signalling Matsuda to speak.

He inhaled nervously. “L, It’s Matsuda… I have something I need to tell you. I know that it’s against what we all agreed on, and I take full responsibility for my actions, but over the weekend I-”

 _“You told Mr Yagami’s daughter about the Kira investigation_.” Near interrupted, and Matsuda was speechless. _How did he know?_

“Well, y-yeah, but how did you..?”

 _“It wasn’t a very difficult deduction. You are close to the Yagami family, correct? And you were the one who was least comfortable in the beginning when I proposed that we don’t uncover the truth to anyone, including the remaining members of the Yagami family. It therefore stands to reason that you, Matsuda, would eventually come clean to them, telling them that their beloved son and brother was Kira all along.”_ Near stated. Matsuda had nothing to say to that. _“Don’t worry, that being said, I’m not going to tell you that you have went behind our backs or that your untrustworthy. I understand your motives and I did anticipate for this to happen. That’s why I have already come up with a story to give to the media, just in case the Yagami family do decide not to keep this private.”_

“I understand the need to come up with a plan for if this becomes public knowledge…” Matsuda began. “But I know the Yagami family well. They wouldn’t do something like that knowing the trouble it would cause.”

 _“I know that you believe that to be the case, and even I personally doubt that we will need to put this plan into action, but even so, if there is a 0.01% chance of that happening, we still have to be prepared. I will email this to you all in due time. Goodbye.”_ And with that, Near hung up.

Matsuda was always impressed by the boy’s deductive skills, and above all he was glad that he wasn’t in trouble. Relieved, he went back to the others and sat down, going back to his laptop and carrying on with the work.

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, and before long the five of them had gotten all of the reports checked, signed and sent off. They had already investigated all of the major crime syndicates in the area for now, so there was nothing else left for them to do until Near gave them the word to intercept one of them. It was Mogi who suggested to call it a day, and the other task force members agreed.

After saying goodbye to everyone, Matsuda made his way out of the office grabbing his coat on the way and heading down to where he had parked his car earlier that morning. He wasn’t in the mood to hang around like he usually would be, and even Yamamoto’s offer of going out for drinks, and even paying for the first round, hadn’t managed to persuade him to stay out with the rest of them. He knew that it was a bad idea, because the alternative wasn’t much greater – spending the night alone watching boring television programs – but he just wasn’t in the mood to socialise any more than what was necessary.

As he made his way outside of the building, he noticed that the weather had changed from calm to windy, and the air had gotten considerably colder since he had last been outside. Now there was a lingering chill in the air that caused him to shiver uncontrollably as he rushed to his car. Without hesitation, Matsuda got in and turned on the heater before making his way home.

The journey still felt long and boring to him, especially without anything to look forward to. He knew that no matter how hard he tried to stay occupied, he’d still just end up moping around until the next day.

He let out a sigh as he approached his apartment, not looking forward to being back there. He began making his way up the drive and parked his car in his usual spot. He was about to get out when suddenly, he noticed a figure standing outside the apartment entrance, and he squinted, trying to work out who it was.

Suddenly a gasp escaped his lips as he recognised the girl’s features, and he felt a lump appear in his throat and his eyes threaten to tear up. ‘ _Why is she here?’_ he thought to himself as he scrambled to get out of the car. She turned her head to face him and she gave him a small smile.

He smiled back at her.

“Sayu…”


	10. Chapter 10

He hastily made his way over to where she was stood, a feeling of relief flowing over him as his eyes met hers. He wanted more than anything to be able to embrace her and hold her in his arms. And he almost did just that, but he managed to restrain himself enough that he instead he just stood there awkwardly in front of her with a small, shy smile forming on his face. _‘You don’t know why she’s here yet… Don’t jump to any conclusions.’_ He thought to himself, but he couldn’t help feeling relieved and excited to see her anyway.

He had forgotten all about the cold until he saw he shiver, and he quickly opened the door, letting her inside his apartment. “How long have you been waiting outside for? I’m really sorry, you must have been freezing…” He apologised, and she shook her head, looking up at him.

“It’s not been too bad, I’ve only been waiting here for a little while.” She began, following him inside and up the stairs to his door. “I was going to call you earlier, but I knew you’d be in work so I doubted you’d be able to answer, plus, I thought it’d be better to talk in person.” She confessed. As she followed him, she decided to continue talking instead of waiting for a reply. “Matsuda, I… I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute...?” She asked, getting to the point of her visit. He looked at her and nodded, trying unsuccessfully to read her expression.

“Of course.” He replied, not sure of what to expect and not aware of how he was feeling exactly. He was being hopeful; he was relieved to know that she wanted to see him again for whatever reason, and there was the possibility that everything was okay now, but at the same time he had a feeling of dread that this wasn’t the conversation he thought it was going to be. She could have also come over so that she could tell him that she never wanted to see him again, not to message her anymore, and that whatever they had, was over. He couldn’t help but panic when that was a possibility, and he felt his blood run cold and his stomach churn. But he managed to compose himself enough to ask her a question in response as he opened the door to his room. “What’s on your mind?”

They both made their way inside and Sayu sat down on the couch, and patted the place beside her. He complied, sitting down next to her. He made sure not to sit too close in case it made her uncomfortable, and he waited patiently for her to start speaking. After a few seconds, she took in a deep breath, collected her thoughts and confessed what was on her mind.

“I thought about what you said to me," She began. "and how so many of the things I believed were my reality were all actually just a big cover up, planned in advance by the task force…” She opened up, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “I thought about it all; how everything I’d believed in as truth and everything I’d known about the people in the task force, including you, was all a fabrication. I don't know what's the truth and what isn't anymore.”

That hurt for him to hear, and Matsuda winced outwardly at the statement. “That’s not… Everything between us was real. I’d never lie about how I felt about you Sayu…” He defended. “It was never about Kira. I care about you for who you are, none of it was ever a lie.”

Sayu didn't respond to his remark. Instead she just looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap, and continued. “I thought about it constantly. What you and the rest of the task force had told me up until now, and I realised something…” She paused, and Matsuda was silent as he waited for her to finish. “I realised that without you I feel… Lost. I feel relaxed and carefree when I’m with you, and the world seems a lot less scary. I didn’t want that to be fake, because you make me so happy. I didn't want that to go away…” She paused for a second to compose herself, as she felt herself welling up and didn't want to start crying in front of him. After a moment she had managed to swallow the tears, and she kept going from where she had left off. “That made me realise that even if you hadn’t told me the truth straight away, you were always there for me to make sure I was safe, and you always put me first. You guided me and my Mother through it all, because even though you knew the truth, you wanted to make sure we didn’t suffer. You took on the burden alone so we didn’t have to. So how can I be mad at you for that?”

Matsuda blushed, taken off guard. He was confused now. Did she hate him or not?

“I spoke to my Mum about it, and she made me realise that I wasn’t the only one this was hurting. And when I got your message, I knew that you weren’t just saying it, and you meant it…” She placed her hand on his, and he smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. “I’m not angry, and I don’t blame you for anything. I'm sorry for the way I acted, and… I…” She trailed off, unsure of how to form the words, and now it was Matsuda’s turn to talk.

“Sayu, I’m really sorry for hurting you, and I promise you that I’ll never ever keep anything from you again. That’s why, there’s something else I need to tell you. There’s one more thing I’ve been keeping from you, because I’ve been scared of what you’ll think of me if you knew…” He said, holding onto her hand tightly.

She was on guard, wondering what other secrets he had kept from her. But she knew that she had to trust him. She nodded and squeezed his hand supportively.

“Go on?” She asked, and he hesitated, biting his lip.

“I'm in love with you Sayu.” He confessed, his voice surprisingly calm considering how nervous he had looked seconds ago. As soon as he said it her face turned bright red, but she remained silent. He continued. “I’ve loved you for a long time, but I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to tell you while you still didn’t know the truth about your brother, because it just felt wrong, because I would have felt like I was deceiving you. And I didn’t want you to think I was saying it just to make you feel better, because that's not how it is. I've been trying to think of ways to tell you, but I just never knew how-” His rambling was halted when Sayu pushed her lips against his. Shock set in, and Matsuda didn’t know how to react at first. But when Sayu didn’t pull away he began to relax, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close.

Neither of them wanted to move away, and even after their first kiss ended, Matsuda kept his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I love you too Matsuda.” Sayu confessed. “You were my first crush when I was younger, and it only grew stronger the older I got… My friends made fun of me, for liking a guy who was older than me, but I didn’t care…” She was blushing brighter now, and she shyly buried her head into his neck. He chuckled, stroking her hair.

“If it helps, everyone in the office made fun of me too when they found out…” He admitted and she giggled.

“I can’t believe you told them…” She muttered.

“Well, It was more that I slipped up and accidentally told them I stayed at your house. They caught on and pried the information out of me, then Mogi told them about that time I came to visit, when I said that I hadn’t gotten the chance to propose to you in front of your parents and you turned me down because of my age…”

He pouted at the memory of being rejected by her, and Sayu giggled again, kissing him once more. “Well, now you’ll have to tell them all that we’re in a relationship.” She teased, before realisation hit and she became all flustered. “That’s if, I mean… If you want to be...”

Matsuda blushed at her comment, smiling lovingly and stroking her cheek. “I’d like that more than anything.” He whispered, and she smiled back, relieved.

“I’m really glad… In that case, while you're telling them tomorrow I’ll have to tell my Mum that we’re officially together now, not that she’ll be shocked.” Sayu added and Matsuda chuckled.

“I’ll make sure she approves of me…” He promised.

“Don’t be silly, she already does.” Sayu reassured him, stroking the top of his hand with her fingertips. “She told me that she sees how much we mean to each other, and that if my Dad could see us, he’d be proud of us… She told m that we remind her of how they were when they were younger.”

“I’m glad…” Matsuda sighed happily, relieved that everything between them was alright. “You mean so much to me…” He admitted, and she blushed.

“You’re so soppy, you know that?” She teased, then smiled at him lovingly. “It’s one of the things I find charming about you. You mean the world to me too.” She admitted, relaxing into him.

Sayu was quiet for a minute, before she brought up the courage to ask. “Is it okay if I stay the night tonight...? I don’t want to be alone tonight. I can just walk home in the morning when you need to go to work…” She was blushing brighter than ever, and Matsuda blushed too.

“I’ll give you a lift home tomorrow morning before I go, don’t worry. I’d love it if you’d stay with me…” He admitted, and she beamed happily, kissing him on the forehead.

The two stayed up for a little while longer, cuddling on the couch, watching boring television programs and eating whatever Matsuda had left in the cupboards. Matsuda was relieved that everything was okay now, and couldn’t believe that he’d actually confessed to Sayu after all this time, or even more shockingly, that she’d said that she felt the same way and now the two were in a relationship. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that it was real. 

After the two of them eventually began to show signs of tiredness, Matsuda suggested they go to bed. He led the way for her, apologising for the fact that the bedroom was a bit of a mess as he threw some of his clothes that he'd left out into a corner. He opened his bedside drawer and offered her an oversized t-shirt to sleep in, and she gratefully took it, heading to the bathroom to get changed into it.

As she made her way into his bathroom, she noticed through the open window that it was now dark outside, and there were a few small stars in the sky. But there was one that shone brighter than the rest, and she smiled. She remembered what her mum had told her when she was a child, about how stars were the spirits of those who had passed away, watching down on their loved ones. Although Sayu was a grown up now and wasn't a very spiritual person, she still liked to believe in that. It gave her comfort when she thought about her Father, and even Light, still being out there somewhere.

She looked at the brightest star, imagining that her Father was looking down on her.

“Dad…” She whispered. “I know you said that you’d never let me marry a cop, and I’m sorry, but one day I might have to go against your wishes. I’ve found my happiness with Matsuda. I hope you can forgive me for that, and that one day you can give us both your blessing…”

She smiled, before adding one more thing. “I love you Dad. Thank you for looking after Me and Mum.”

She had one last glance at the stars before she leant forward and closed the window, getting changed into Matsuda’s oversized shirt then returning to his room.

He was already lying in bed as she walked over to him, and he blushed at the sight of her. “That shirt looks a lot better on you then it does on me…” He remarked and she blushed.

“I doubt that, now move over…” She said, smiling, and he lifted the blanket so she could get underneath it. She got in before shyly cuddling into his chest, and in response he wrapped his arms around her, running his fingers through her hair. She breathed in his scent and relaxed, letting out a happy sigh.

“Goodnight…” He whispered, resting his head against hers. He'd dreamt of this moment for so long, and he couldn't believe it was happening.

“Night…” She replied happily, letting herself melt against the heat of his body. She was so happy, and she felt so secure and safe in his arms.

It was so easy for her to fall asleep when he held her, and within minutes she was in a deep slumber, feeling lighter and more at peace than she'd ever felt before.


End file.
